The Art of Failure
If I have to sit there and face myself and tell myself 'you are a failure,' I think that is almost worse than dying.
Kobe Bryant
Dreams and goals. Expectations and hope.
What is your dream?
What do you desire to accomplish?
What does having a goal mean to you?
Do you truly want to realize your dream?
Providing that you aspire to follow through on your goals, I want to ask you: Why are you hesitating?
Are you scared?
Scared to fail?
The Concept of Fear
Fear can be distinguished into two types: biochemical and emotional.
Biochemical fear is a natural response to danger, also known as a “fight or flight” response. While it is a normal reaction in most cases, it can also be disrupted in extreme situations and turn into an imagined feeling.
Emotional fear on the other hand is very individual and holds a lot of opportunities for personal development. Hence, it is up to individuals to learn how to handle their fears.
Emotions
Emotions come and go. Fear comes and goes. Embrace it instead of being controlled by it and thus feeling at a loss. The more you try to avoid it, the more it will grow and turn into anxiety, forcing you into a corner of helplessness. It disconnects you from reality because you fall into a loop consisting of, only, and only, your imagination.
By “embrace it” I mean that you accept the present existence of your fear and realize that there is no shame in feeling the way you do. Above all, you are a human and the fact that you feel the way you do, shows that you are capable of living life with all its facets.
The Fear of Failing
Fear of failing can make you hesitate, not even try it.
As it is up to you to either embrace or avoid it, fear can hinder or lead you.
Avoiding it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy of you emitting negative thoughts, creating low self-esteem and drifting into self-doubt. Lastly, you start questioning your ability to achieve a goal and don’t even give it a try. On the contrary, embracing it will surround your fear with a coat of calmness and turn it into a series of different opportunities you can choose from.
Countless thoughts concur your mind.
- I don’t have the skill and knowledge to master this, so why even try?
- I will fail anyway, so why even try?
- I can’t do it perfectly and thus it won’t be good enough, so why even try?
- I will only embarrass myself, so why even try?
- My imperfections will make others think less of me, so why even try?
- I will only disappoint others, so why even try?
- People will talk behind my back, so why even try?
Ask yourself, are these things truly important to you? Do they define who you are and want to become? If that’s your fear, then it comes to be really nothing.
Growing up, many of us have been told that failing means, not being good enough. Though it couldn’t be further from the truth. The concept of failing is something that presents us with our weakest characteristics. Hence, when failing, we get a chance to improve. A chance we wouldn’t have gotten if we didn’t fail.
Failure can be the best teacher if you let it.
You Try
Look beyond your fear of failure. There is a unique ambition, dedication and achievement on the other side of it. Strive for this, towards this.
Look forward to the confrontation, don’t shy away, don’t be intimidated by your fear. It’s simple. Why? Well, if you fail today, just try again tomorrow and if you fail tomorrow, try again the next day. This is you showing up for yourself, for your dreams and goals.
You Fail
How can you fail by yourself? Every kind of imaginable thought crosses your mind and you can’t distinguish them anymore. You tell yourself to stay calm but you can’t. You try to avoid your emotions but they intensify and make you feel at a loss. They grow because you try to push them away.
Now what would happen if you took a step back? Literally, stand up and take a huge step back.
Feel the fear, the silence, your heart jumping out of your chest. Look deep into your emotions. Cry, shout, feel the weight of the endlessness crashing onto you. Feel them, embrace them and accept them.
Remind yourself that fear can be a hindrance as well as an opportunity. Shift your mind to live true to your emotions and take control of your actions.
This is you making a choice.
In this life, it’s you vs. you. Whether you quit or keep going, making yourself stronger along the process of embracing and accepting failure, resides within your decision. You tell yourself “I don’t know if I can do this again.”, well, of course, you don’t know if you don’t try. You have a hidden strength that needs change in order to come forth.
The Confrontation
Be kind to yourself when failing, and when getting back, when deciding to give it another try. Take your time. You are right where you ought to be. You are not behind. Fail as many times as you need on your way to accomplish your goal. There are countless ways to deal with failure and if you decide to embrace it, you will find yourself on the path of creating something even more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Ask yourself, what advice you would give to a loved one going through the process of failure.
Take this advice as a reminder that you too are capable of putting it into practice.
Moreover, there are several actions you can take as a way to work with failure.
- Redefine what failure means to you
- Learn how to deal with perfectionism and the unrealistic desire to succeed on the first try
- Remember the cost of not trying
- Focus on things you can control
- Understand its source
- Talk to others
- Make mind maps- visualize your options
- Remind yourself that nothing is set in stone
Move with the flow of your goals and dreams and adapt to them by making use of your failure.
You Learn
Failures teach you what has to be changed.
What have your past failures taught you?
To accomplish your goals, you have to fail. It’s not the knowledge you gain from only reading books or blogs, listening to others or watching videos that will change you. Of course, this will tremendously help you, but it’s your life experience, it’s who you have and want to become, that’s going to make the difference.
You learn from your failures. I can’t say it often enough. YOU LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURES!!!!
That’s who you become. The way you cope with failing is the way you fight for your dreams and yourself. Do you truly want your path to end because you failed and decided not to stand back up?
Don’t you ever let fear control you! It is either going to get the best of you or make the best of you!
Once you see this, it becomes your drive. Respond to yourself.